Revising the Introduction Paragraph – Excelsior Writers |
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Go back to the file you have for Project 2. Look at your Introduction: Revise it to follow these guidelines.

Introductory paragraphs should accomplish two tasks: 1. They should get the reader’s interest so that he or she will want to read more. 2. They should let the reader know what the writing is going to be about.

Task 1:

  • To grab the reader’s attention, you need to start with a hook, or an attention grabber. The hook can be a question, a jarring statistic, a quote from someone famous on the subject, or a short, personal anecdote.
  • Once you have hooked the reader, you want to provide the reader with background information on the topic at hand. Imagine that the reader has NOT read the articles you have read and does not know much about the topic, so explain the issue to the reader.

Task 2:

  • The last part of the introduction is the thesis. The thesis should be the LAST sentence of the introduction, and it should be an opinion or what we can the claim of the essay. It tells the reader what your essay will be about and what your opinion on the topic is. So thesis is often topic+your opinion on the topic.
  • Your thesis should not be simply a fact, and it should directly answer the question I have asked in the prompt.
  • Even though the thesis is your opinion, it should not include statements like “I think/believe” or “In my opinion.”
  • A thesis os your stance on the topic—a one or two sentence statement of opinion, or something that you will explore, prove, expand upon, develop and provide a through discussion of in your essay. Remember, a thesis must be arguable.

To complete this assignment, follow the steps below.

Step 1:

Copy and paste your introduction from Project 2’s timed writing in a new document. Then,

  • In yellow, highlight the hook
  • In blue, highlight the background information
  • In pink, highlight the thesis
    • Don’t worry if you don’t have the three parts yet. That is why you are revising. If you cannot find what to highlight, it means you are missing that part and need to write one.

Step 2:

Start thinking about how you can make your introduction better. If you are missing any of the three parts above, add it! If you already have all three parts, look at each part individually and see how you can make it better. Do so by answering the following questions:

  1. What kind of hook did I use (a question, a short story, a statistic)? Is my hook interesting? Does it grab the reader’s attention and make him or her want to read more? What can I do to grab the reader’s attention even better?
  2. Do I have sufficient background information? If the reader did NOT read the articles I read, would he or she know what the issue is about? What else can I add to the background information to make my reader understand my topic better?
  3. Is my thesis an opinion of my own? Is it free of “I believe/I think/In my opinion” statements? Does it name the topic and your opinion on it? Does it clearly and directly respond to the question my teacher asked in the prompt?

Step 3:

Based on the questions above and your answers to them, rewrite your introduction, making sure that there is an engaging hook, clear and detailed background information and a strong thesis.

**Please mark each step (Step 1, 2 and 3) on your document before submitting.

SO already my essay is ready just follow the stepes

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